Sad, mad, glad

Sometime I feel really useless and stupid. Usually it also makes me feel embarrassed. It can be triggered by a mere unsuccesful homework or a frown from someone. I don´t like carrying those unnecessary feelings in me but it´s also very hard to get rid of them. I tend to exaggerate things. I´m a misfit, a dummie or a hopeless case who everyone just laughs at.

In the afternoon I was thinking of ways to cheer myself up. I tried simply refusing to feel sad. It didn´t work. A massive café au lait did the trick but the affect didn´t last for long. I tried shopping therapy. I found a cotton shirt of my dreams but in wrong colour. It was on -70% discount but still not worth it because of the baby blue colour. And my favourite fragrance ever is still crazy expensive.

As the afternoon turned into early evening I cycled back home. The sunset was awfully beautiful and I regretted for not having a camera with me. 

After all, I got my joy of life back little by little during the evening. A good pasta and gym might have had something to do with it. And there was a little black cat in the car park lurking me.

I guess feelings are to be felt.

People talking

I had a good day. It didn´t go as I planned but it was good altogether. I do feel a bit bad for not going to work even if I could have. Lost funds for my next trip!

The phenomenan of the day was Finnish people talking to each other. Mutual extreme experiences seem to provoke spontaneous concersations with strangers. I attended university´s ice swimming which took place at an actual ice swimming club. There we sat in the sauna among the members, mostly older people. They were eager to talk about their experiences and it was really nice to be there and share the warmth, the cold and the feel of blood rushing in veins. How could you keep your mouth shut after such an amazing experience!

The same atmosphere continued on my way back home through a massive snow storm. I was trying my best to ride my bike on a street covered with ankle-deep snow. I passed by two ladies and both of them  adressed me commenting on the weather/snow. Weather always seems to be a valid topic for casual conversations. People realize that those silent figures walking down the streets are living and breathing things who experience the same wethaer. We´re all in the same shit: in waist-high snow!

So my conclusion is that Finns need provoking experinces, good or bad, in order to feel like communicating with people. A terrorist attack, a snow storm, parachute jumping, a demonstration in the street, a new president...

Next time something annoying happens I will think about this factor...

Inspiration on a sunny day

It was so meant to be ! That I didn´t end up in a club last night. Because I just hate that feeling when you wake up hungover and notice how nice weather it is outside. You could´ve gone out for a long walk but instead you gotta stay on the couch.

I wish I had had skis and sunglasses. It felt like spring. Yellow tulips (inside in a vase), sun shine and dripping icicles.

A couple of movie recommendations:

The Notebook. A proper tearjerker and a chickflick but an interesting story. There´s not much unpredictable in the movie but I like the way the story builds up. 

The Painted Veil. A story of a couple who get married quickly for rational reasons. They move to China, the woman starts a relationship with another man andddd..... Not going to reveal more but it´s about love, forgiveness and humanity.

I find it hard to say if a movie was good or bad. Are they those movies you want to see again? Because once you´ve seen the movie the next time will be differend... Obviously because you know what´ll happen! And I get moved so easily. Even a movie with crappy shooting or acting will get away with it the story touches me.

Anyway, it´s another Monday tomorrow. It´ll be a good week though: Italian party, ice swimming and my good ole mates will come for a visit!

May the good vibes be with you.

Traffic days

One day I rode my bike in a snowy narrow street. I passed by a blind man with a cane. I passed him too close because I saw him jump surprised. I felt bad immediately.

I often feel bad while cycling about the town. Especially now in winter when the snow is EVERYWHERE and makes moving around trickier. There are people who have to step aside when I drive by. There are people who block my way and I don´t have a bell to let them know I´m right behind them. And I feel too Finnish to give them a polite shout "Excuse me!" Sometimes I´m about to drive over someone who appears behind the corner. It also gets me down when car drivers arrogantly ignore bikers: they don´t bother using the blink or giving way even if I´m goin straight on and they´re turning.

I´ve often complained how bikers don´t have any means to communicate with car drivers. I think I´m going to start carrying snowballs with me and throwing them at anyone who´s misbehaving.

I would enjoy this weather a lot more if I didn´t have to cycle back and forth. I´d rather ride a horse... When the oil really runs out and people have to give up cars that wouldn´t even look too silly! Can´t wait...hahah.

This blog entry was pretty loose so I just add a nice picture in the end to make your day. Enjoy the beauty of this serene cat surrounded by mid-winter melancholy...

 

Muksu in her characteristic coolness